An Altar for All

In 1989, while serving as Chaplain and Assistant Professor of Religion at Shenandoah University, I planned a chapel service to discuss the hot button issue of the "church and homosexuality." When I planned that chapel service, a semester ahead, I was still unsure of my own thinking about the issue. For that reason, I chose the non-committal title of "Homosexuality: the Issue that Will Not Go Away." I believed that the university had a duty and responsibility to discuss contentious contemporary ethical issues--I just didn't know where I stood! As that chapel service loomed, it became clear to me that I would make enemies regardless of where I came down. The more I studied and prepared, the more I came to believe the UMC position was Biblically and theologically mistaken and harmful. At the same time, I knew taking that stance publicly could have negative consequences for my employment and career. With "fear and trembling," I decided I shouldn't waffle and I affirmed at that chapel service that the church should treat committed loving homosexual relationships the same way we treat similar heterosexual relationships. They deserved our respect and blessing. (We were not using LGBTQ+ at the time.) In 2012, I was following the decisions and debate of UMC General Conference closely. After decades of fighting over the "incompatibility" clause, I was desperately hoping to see a change in position, and hope for the future. My hopes were dashed--the debate was actually uglier and the positions had hardened. I decided that spring that I could no longer wait for the church to change--I had to act or be complicit in our discriminatory and exclusionary policies. I planned to go public with my opposition that year, but a trusted colleague urged me to work and see if I couldn't get others to join me so this wasn't just about clearing my conscience. During the course of the next year, I worked with Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN), the Virginia Conference chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action (MFSA), and Rives Priddy of Virginia Reconciling United Methodists (VRUM) to form a Virginia Conference "Altar for All." I wrote the intro for MFSA. The intro ended with these words: "We, clergy and laity of the Virginia Annual Conference, may resist in different ways, but all of us pledge to work for: 1) removal of derogatory language about homosexuality from the Discipline, 2) the full inclusion of LGBTs in the life of the Church, including ordination, 3) marriage equality, and 4) freeing our churches and clergy to celebrate same sex marriages and unions." Clergy could then make this further pledge: "In addition to the four commitments above, clergy will resist in one of two ways: 1) some will offer our services to any prepared couple desiring Christian marriage, risking a trial by violating the Disciplinary prohibition on conducting a celebration of a homosexual marriage or union, and 2) some will commit to offer support to those prepared to violate the prohibition on conducting a celebration of a homosexual marriage or union." I don't remember the exact numbers but by that fall I think Virginia had almost 200 people sign the "Altar for All" statement. Following this pledge, in 2014 I publicly officiated at a same-gender marriage to affirm a wonderful couple and to defy UMC policies.

Here's why I did it (standing up for LGBTQ+ inclusion):

As I indicated, I spoke up at that chapel service because I believed I had an obligation to speak the truth, and to offer to support to LGBTQ+ persons. Releasing "An Altar for All" was a decision I made because I knew too many people who were being hurt by our policies and because I was complicit in those policies.

Here's how that action (standing up for LGBTQ+ inclusion) impacted me and/or others:

One of my closest friends on the faculty, and one of the few faculty members who regularly attended chapel, got up during my message and walked out of the chapel and never returned. Some of our gay/lesbian students expressed deep gratitude. When I released "An Altar for All," I received lots of affirmation from colleagues and some negative responses and distancing. One colleague wrote me a short email that simply read, "Shame, shame, shame." After I officiated at the same-gender marriage, a complaint was filed against me. I spent most of that spring negotiating with Bishop Cho and my D.S. The result was a "Resolution of a Complaint," not a Just Resolution, that required me to observe a three month suspension of any preaching or sacramental ministry.

Looking back, there was a time I wanted to stand up for LGBTQ+ inclusion, but I didn't do so (or didn't do so as strongly as I could have.) Here's what happened:

That 1989 chapel service was a watershed for me. Ever since I have been clear in my support of LGBTQ+ inclusion, but I could have done a lot more to be a better ally and advocate.

Here's why I made this decision (not standing up, not standing up strongly) at the time:

The issue did not affect me personally, so I was too complacent.

Here's how this decision (not standing up, not standing up strongly) affected me and/or others:

My guilt over my complicity grew until 2012. I don't know how it affected others, but it supported the awful status quo.

Here is why I believe we must commit ourselves to active work for full inclusion of LGBTQ+ persons in our Church:

We must commit to full inclusion because too many people have been hurt and because our position belies our theology of grace. It is a contradiction of our commitment to seek "perfection in love."